Butter Chicken

Is there anything in this world yummier than butter chicken? (well except Chicken Tikka Masala of course). Dinner last night at a new (to use) restaurant with new friends. An authentic indian restaurant with an authentic indian :)

Been doing research on the organization Food Addicts Anonymous. I've recently realized that my food issues are truly an addiction in every sense of the word. What I'm reeling with now is the idea that I am going to have to abstain from certain foods -- for the rest of my life. That idea terrifies me. I don't know how alcoholics do it. It scares me to think of taking away my emotional crutch. What will I do when I feel happy, feel sad, feel stressed, feel ... Food is such a huge part of my life. I think about it morning, noon and night. What will I eat now, how will that affect what I will eat later in the day, what can I get away with eating that won't make me sound like a big piggy. All I do is think about food and when/what I'm going to eat next.

And really, no sugar, flour or wheat for the rest of my life. No more birthday cake, no more brownies, no more bread, no more crackers, no more Little Debbies, no more Halloween candy, no more xmas cookies.

Ok, so really I'm just scared that I will again fail. But I could right a whole article on the art of failing. So I'll save that for another day.

604 Steps

Yesterday we ventured up to Amicalola Falls in North Georgia. I needed a victory to re-boost my self confidence. At Amicalola they have a trail that traverses up the mountain adjacent to the water-fall. It involves 604 steps -- that's roughly 30 flights of stairs. And I'm happy to announce that I made it all the way to the top. We stopped every 50 steps or so to take a 30 seconds to catch our breath but still, I made it. We took the none steps trail down. It wound more through the woods with many switchbacks and even some flat areas.

My butt and legs are not as sore today as I thought they would be but I was feeling it this morning none-the-less.

Mission accomplished!

Defeated

I'm the most out of shape I think I've ever been. I know what I need to do to turn it around but it just seems pointless because in just a couple of days I'll be back to my lazy slugness again. So why even try? I guess you could point out that if I don't even attempt to change, I never will. But it sure seems like I never will anyways, so why even try?

I'm feeling defeated. Defeated by my addiction. Defeated by my laziness. Defeated by my body.