TGIF

Its been almost a full week. I'm feeling pretty good. I tend to get a little run down energy wise in the mid afternoon. I'm hoping that working out will help with this.

The Competition

My husband enjoys rubbing in the fact that he currently weighs less than me. Note that he is only 1 lb lighter. This morning is when he pulled away by that one pound. And it inspired him to say things like 'I'm smoking ya!'. I know mentally that he is just teasing; but teasing hurts emotionally and I don't know how to tell him such. If I ask him to stop he gets mad that I don't understand that he is just teasing. Its a very frustrating cycle.

You know what I just realized? It's the teasing that is causing me to feel like he doesn't respect me. I wonder if there is a way to let him know how much it hurts to be teased all the time without sounding like someone who just can't take a joke. I'm gonna have to do some web research on this because I'm sure that if I continue to feel lousy about myself I won't be able to continue my weight loss journey.

Staying on Track

Day 4 and still going strong. I made it through all day yesterday without sliding off track. Hopefully today will go just as well. I'm planning on adding in a walk today to start to slowyly increase my activity level. I'm feeling a little run down. I think I'm getting enough calories so it much be the lower amount of caffeine that I'm injesting. I'm trying to increase my water intake. I'm pretty sure I've been dehydrated lately.

Oh last night, Andy made the yummiest dinner. Low-carb fajitas. We used low-carb wraps, chicken seasoned with fajita seasoning cooked on the lean mean grilling machine, shredded cheese and a dollip of Daisy sour cream. Oh my gosh - so yummy! We will definitely be having that again.

Basically, I'm still feeling motivated and I'm hopeful that this is the life style change that will stick.

Cool New Toy

My brother has a fitness tracker on his blog. So I stole his idea and added a weight tracker to mine. Hopefully this visual aid will motivate me to stay on track.

There's something about home

Apparently any and all food eaten at my parent's house doesn't count towards one's daily caloric goal.

I stopped by my parent's house this evening to fix their current computer issue and before I was done with the computer I had polished off 3 mini-bagels, with cream cheese. So I'm still debating whether its my parents house or the fact that I was alone. See I tend to be a secretive eater. I have been all my life. I can remember stealing Little Debbie Snack Cakes from the kitchen, sometimes two or more at time, and rushing past the TV room door upstairs where I could eat them without getting caught. Those Little Debbies were for school lunches only; we weren't supposed to snack on them at home. I'm not sure who I thought I was fooling since I'm sure my mom knew just how many were supposed to be in the box by the end of the week.

The scary thing is that I still do this behavior. I often eat as much as possible when my husband isn't around so that when he is I can appear to be right on track with my diet. Again, who am I fooling? He knows I've gained 40 pounds in the last two years. Those 40 pounds definitely aren't from eating just salad and grilled chicken.

Anyhow, so lesson one is obvious. I've got to get a handle on my secretive eating. No more burying wrappers in the trash can. No more quick stops at the gas station to get rid of any evidence of snacking in the car.

I'm confident I can make this change if I just trust myself to do it.

Dinner: 3 mini-bagels with cream cheese, salad, chicken with curry seasoning, cottage cheese and Almonds.

Take Two

Here it is two years since I first started this blog; and two years since I last posted. I have gained 40 pounds in those years. Yikes!

So, here we are again. At the beginning of another 'life style change'. I weigh 293.5 today.

Yesterday I was at 295. Seems like I might have been holding onto a little bit of water to lose so quickly but still I am happy to see the progress. I know they say you shouldn't step on the scale more than once a week, but I can't seem to help myself in the mornings. The scale calls out to me - Marrrrrtha, Maaarrrrrthaaaaaa, bwah-ha-ha. I'd say I'm only going to weigh myself once a week, but I know I'd be lying if I did.

Breakfast - two egg and sausage muffins with some cottage cheese
Lunch - salad with deli turkey on top, caesar dressing (I've got to remember to buy some Ranch next time I'm at the grocery store)